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Writer's picturetessazalfen

24 Life Lessons Learned Over the Years

As I am nearing my twenty-fourth birthday I have been doing quite a bit of reflecting. Over the course of the last twenty-three years, I have already experienced quite a few of life’s biggest milestones. Taking my first steps, the first day of school, graduation, being able to legally drink on the day I officially became an adult (this one is still up in the air, let’s be honest lol). And here we are, seven days short of being twenty-four, and one year closer to my quarter-life crisis. Ah, 25, the unsung heroes of milestones. With all of this recent reflection, I feel like I have learned a lot over the past two decades of my life. Some wonderful and amazing, others not so much. But hey, life can’t always be rainbows and butterflies one hundred percent of the time; and sometimes it’s those rainy days that provide the most lessons and growth. Here are 24 life lessons that I have learned by age 24, I hope some can be valuable to you as well.


1. Keep an open mind + an open heart

  1. Do not be scared to try new things. Say yes more often. Life doesn’t always go the way we may want or expect, but no matter what, try to make the most of each and every situation. And do so with a compassionate heart, because when you do, true magic can be created with the two.

2. Your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters

  1. People will try to tear you down throughout your life. They will try to take away one of the few things that is purely yours. Your confidence. I know its easier said than done, it's something that took me twenty-three years to fully acknowledge and embrace. But now that I have, I have never been happier.

3. You are not alone/It’s ok to not be ok

  1. We are all human, we all feel. Please do not ever be afraid to feel what you are feeling. Try to remember that you are not alone, that you are very loved, needed, and very special. Not every day can be amazing, there will be not so great times and that’s ok! It’s more than ok to be sad. To have that moment, day, or week. We all need a good cry here and there. In the end, everything will be ok, and if it isn’t ok then it’s not the end.

4. Cut the Toxic Out

  1. It’s not easy to detach yourself from people who you have close ties with, but sometimes it’s necessary in order to restore your peace of mind. Again, I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t let negative and toxic people take up space in your life and head. Raise that rent and kick those MF’s out.

5. Learn how and when to give yourself a break

  1. Life can get crazy busy at times, even in quarantine, and it’s easy to just keep going along for the ride. While it is important to ensure that your work or daily tasks are done, it's also important to look after yourself and take breaks here and there. I will openly admit, I am the type of gogo person, and over the course of this last year, I had to remind myself that it’s ok to stop and take a breather. Listen to your body.

6. Spend time with loved ones

a. Each day is a gift, that’s why it is called the present. Therefore, we should treat every day as if it is our last. Never walk away angry from someone that you care about. If you love someone, tell them, whether it be for the first time or the five thousandth. When given the chance to see someone you care about - take it. And treasure every last second of it.


7. Work hard - stay humble

  1. Yes this quote is cliche, and yall know I love cliches. However, this one is a cliche for a reason. It’s true and important. Always work hard, you won’t get anywhere truly in life if you half-ass something. Take control of your responsibilities, complete your own tasks, and go that extra step. With working hard though, and the experience of success it is key to not let it get to your head. Always be grateful for what you have, and remind yourself how you got to where you are. Respect and support those around you, as they have (hopefully) done the same.

8. Follow your heart

  1. Don’t be pushed around or scared back to hiding by the fears in your mind. While it is important to make logical decisions, logic doesn’t always lead to happiness. Have the courage to follow your dreams and what you really want. If you don’t you may spend the rest of your life wishing you had.

9. Start saving early

  1. One thing that they don’t teach in school, but really should, is the art and importance of saving money. While it is fun to go on carefree shopping sprees and splurges here and there, it’s also vastly important to ensure that you can pay for life’s necessities (i.e. a roof over your head, food, and water, bills, etc.). And while it is fun to get your hands on that newly printed check, or to see your direct deposit hit; you never know what life may throw your way. Make things easier for yourself, and with each check, put a little bit of that money aside. It may not seem like much, but over time it will add up and in the long run, you will be thankful that you did it.

10. Don’t let little things get to you

  1. It’s easy to let every little thing, every minor inconvenience bother you - but take it from me, it’s not worth it. If you do this you will spend your days being angry. Trapped in a constant flow of negativity. If it isn’t something that you will be upset about in a day or two, don’t lose your happiness for it. If its the little things that ruin you, what will happen when the big things come along? Focus on the good. Instead of letting certain little things get to you, appreciate the other little things. Allow them to bring you pleasure and not pain.

11. Practice taking it slow

  1. Slow down and enjoy the journey right now. We get so caught up in our hyper-connected lifestyles and environments that a good chunk of our lives could be flying by right before our very own eyes. Unplug if you want. Spend more time out in nature, and with friends and family. Disconnecting from the frantic world around us, even if it is for only a couple hours is like a breath of fresh air.

12. People in your life will come and go

  1. Over the last few years, I have learned this lesson the most. Some people are just not meant to stay in your life forever. Instead, they are meant to teach you something. And while we may not know what it is at the time, down the line we will be thankful for their impact - even if when they were in our lives/exited it wasn’t necessarily the best or easiest time. Friends will come and go, but the right ones, the ones that are destined to, will always stay.

13. No one is perfect

  1. Like Hannah Montana says - Nobody's perfect, you live and you learn it. We all make mistakes, it’s a part of being human. And just because we make these mistakes doesn’t mean that we have to pay for them for the rest of our lives. Even good people make bad decisions, and it doesn’t mean that they are bad. It just means that they are human.

14. Your gut is always right

  1. You know how they say to trust your first choice and to not second guess yourself when taking a test? Well, the same could be said for life. Always trust your gut. I for one hate being suspicious about things, but damn that feeling is more than often always right. Never discredit that instinct either. In fact, it deserves more credit. You are not being paranoid. Your body is picking up on the bad vibrations. And if something inside of you says that something isn’t right, trust it.

15. It really is best to be yourself

  1. You only get one you. Embrace it. Full send, no balls. And if others don’t love or appreciate it, then that is their loss. Because you are an amazing individual. Never change yourself for someone else. Be silly. Be fun. Be different. Be crazy. Let people see the real, quirky, weird, beautiful, and magical person that you are.

16. Happiness is a state of mind/journey, not a destination

  1. It’s a choice, a way of living. It is based on the way you look at things. It isn’t something to be achieved, but it is something to be experienced. It is something to be found along the way, and not at the end of a road. There is no final stop or destination. This is a journey that is never over, embrace every moment of it.

17. Always be Kind

  1. Kindness is one of the few things in life that is free. Sprinkle that shit everywhere. You never know what someone else is going through, and one small act of kindness - even a simple smile could really turn someones day around for the better. Too often we underestimate the power that a listening ear, an honest compliment, or small act of caring can hold. Everyone you meet is fighting a battle, one that you know nothing about; keep that in mind as you wake up every day.

18. Self Care and Selfishness are Two different things

  1. One is degrading others. One is taking care of yourself. One if being a friend. One is being a doormat. One is putting the wants of yourself over the needs of others. One is putting the needs of yourself over the wants of others. Taking care of yourself does not make you a bad person. They are two vastly different things. Self-care is not selfish, it is a necessary part of maintaining balance and positive mental health status in life. Mental Health Matters!

19. Invest in relationships

  1. All good things take time and attention. Like plants, for example, you have to water them and make sure they have everything they need in order to thrive. And people aren’t any different. When it comes to relationships, if it is something (which I hope it is) that you want to last you need to give it time, attention, and detail. Be and find someone (platonic or romantic) that wants to invest in you, as much as you want to invest in them. To learn more about you. To support you and your visions along the way. To be there when you experience your failures. To hold your hand when you need it. To have conversations till 3 am. And To tell you the truth even when it may hurt. Grow and blossom that flower together. Be the sunshine and water that keeps it alive.

20. Get Over It

  1. I mean this in the nicest way possible. Do not hold grudges. Grudges will only make you angrier and bitter. It hurts you more to hold a grudge than to forgive. I know shitty stuff happens every day and it sucks. Believe me, I have been there. But the day that I forgave those who wronged me, especially in ways that should never happen to another individual, is the day that I felt lighter. Like a giant weight was lifted off of not only my shoulders but my heart as well.

21. Make room for the unexpected

  1. Yes, having plans is great...but in my opinion the majority of the best things in life are those that are not planned. Stay flexible. Embrace those spur of the moment decisions. You may end up having the time of your life because of it.

22. Celebrate the little victories

  1. Getting out of bed. Finding a top-notch parking space or money in your pocket. Your phone reaching 100% just as you need to go out. Something you have been wanting to buy, going on sale. Treat every victory, even the smallest of ones - like you won the superbowl.

23. Life doesn’t happen for you; you make it happen

  1. Waiting around for that “oh wow!” moment will leave you waiting a hell of a long time. There’s a difference between just dreaming that something will happen, and making it happen. After all, the saying does go ‘if you can dream it, DO it.’ The keyword in that phrase being do. Don’t leave it for the future, take action today. Make the change you want to make. Go on the adventure you want to go on. Say what you want to say. You have the power to earn your golden ticket and make the life that you truly want to happen, happen.

24. Never stop learning

  1. Even if you have graduated and are done with school, it doesn’t mean that you should stop educating yourself. After all, life never stops teaching, so keep those eyes and ears peeled to what is going on around you. There will always be a chance for you to grow; accept, and embrace it.




Life flies by ya’ll, enjoy it.


Till Next Week - where I will be speaking to you all as a twenty-four year old lol.


Stay Happy. Stay Healthy. Stay Safe.


  • T <3



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