Tis’ the season where we spend our days sipping hot cocoa, watching Christmas movie after Christmas movie, and basking in the jolliest time of year!
(Well...sometimes).
Unfortunately, this does not always ring true like a jingle bell. While that is the lovely picture that is plastered all around us and marketed for the holidays - the reality is that oftentimes a picturesque holiday scenario is often not normal - and in essence out of the picture for many.
Although these months are typically seen as a cheerful and bright time, they can also be a time full of loneliness and darkness. Not everything shines as brightly as a new twinkling Christmas bulb. In fact, this time of year can be a painful reminder of the things that we aren’t surrounded by. Some people live far from family and miss getting to see and spend time with them. Others are surrounded by friends in relationships and while they are happy for them - they can dread going through the season being the only one that doesn’t have someone. And these are just scratching the surface of the many endless possible situations that an individual could be in and experience. Heck, you could even be in a room full of people and still feel all alone. The loneliness begins to start creeping in and the painful feeling continues to grow until it fully consumes and convinces us that we are destined to be the grinch (although everything turned out fine for him right?).
Part of the reason this happens is that we are continuously marketed what the holiday season should look and feel like. We are given these expectations and when we set ours to be one thing - and the reality is something different, we are left feeling let down. It’s a recipe for disaster and before we know it the trouble starts and we begin to go on our spiral. It feels as if there is constant pressure and need to always be joyful and participating in festive activities. After all, it's what is showcased on the screen so that means it’s the “perfect dream” right? Wrong lol. While some portions may ring true - our real life version more than often does not match with that that Hollywood loves to portray. What we hope to be a white Christmas full of falling snowflakes, instead becomes a blue one - with the flow of tears instead.
Surprising coming from the girl who loves Christmas and claims to be the female version of buddy the elf, right? Like I have said before - it is easy to fool the outside eye sometimes friends. Not everything is always as it seems. I had once become a master at painting on a smile, and as much as I hate to still have that trick up my sleeve - I do still use it from time to time. I may be doing ten times better than I was this time last year - but that still doesn't mean that I don’t struggle every so often. A day can go from good to bad in the blink of an eye. At any moment things can quickly change. Anxiety and depression don’t take a break just because there may be something fun going on. They don’t take a vacation during the holidays, and this is something that honestly a lot of people have a hard time understanding. It’s not a simple “oh hey it's the holiday season let me just turn my anxiety off real quick.” In fact, during the holidays it can be worse, and even the good things begin to feel overwhelming; leaving little to no room to feel the joy that the season is supposed to offer.
During a time that is so focused on looking out and giving to others, it is also important to look after yourself as well. If you are feeling stressed, anxious, or depressed that is ok. Do not ever feel of ashamed of being or feeling lonely. You have nothing to prove to no one, and spending time with and to yourself can honestly be just as enjoyable as it is helpful. Allow yourself to process your feelings. It is more than ok to do so. We all experience them, and should never apologize for that. And if this means curling up in a burrito blanket ball and crying while listening to music instead of decorating a gingerbread house; then so be it. Whatever works for you and helps you to feel better stick to it. For me, it is music and blanket burritoing (I have now made this a word lol). When I am feeling anxious, sad, and frankly just not myself - I grab my favorite fluffy blanket and curl up onto my bed. With my twinkling lights above me and some of my favorite songs playing in my ears - everything begins to seem ok. Even if it is just for a little while.
Please know that whatever your circumstance may be, that you are not and never will be alone. Anxiety will like to tell you differently. It feeds you lie after lie as if it's a holiday feast trying to fill you up. I know that it is easy to believe in these lies, I have been there countless times - and sometimes still am - but please please know that there is always someone there for you. Ready to hear everything that you are dying to let out and scream from a mountain top. To hold your hand, and be the shoulder you may need to lean on. The cheerleader that is forever at your sidelines ready to hop onto the field and be there for you and help you get through it all. And if you feel as if you don’t have one, please reach out to me. I am and always will be here for you. Any time of the day that you need somebody; please do not hesitate. I have not only witnessed what anxiety and depression are like and how it can turn the happiest and most exuberating people into the opposite, from those close to me - but I have also first handly experienced it. You are not and never will be alone <3
Although this time of year can be really wonderful and full of magic - as talked about here today it can also exacerbate grief, sadness, and anxiety. Not everything is always as it seems. Someone could easily plaster a smile on the outside, but inside be truly drowning in their own thoughts. Reach out to a friend and loved one, even if it is just a quick “I love you and I’m thinking about you’. It could truly make a vast positive difference in such a potentially dark time <3
Till next time friends.
Stay happy (and if you aren’t that's ok - it's ok to not be ok!). Stay healthy. And Stay safe.
You are loved <3
T
If you would like to speak to someone anonymously here are a few resources as well <3
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 or text NAMI to 741-741
Counselor Crisis Text Line: text CONNECT to 741-741
Trevor Project Lifeline for LGBTQ: 1-866-488-7386
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