There have been one hundred and thirty-one days of self-isolation, and this quarantine will continue on so there is no end to ittttt…..
Welp, that was my poor attempt at trying to create my own version of the Phineas and Ferb song...emphasis on the attempt lol.
Anywhooooo haha, yes you read the beginning right..this quarantine has gone on for about five months now; and in all honesty, it probably isn't going to end any time fairly soon. Please friends just be smart about this all :) This pandemic is no joke. If you go outside please do so safely and responsibly.
Aka don't be an ass, and wear your masks :)
Despite being out of work for the last couple of months, and staying inside my apartment ninety percent of the time, my life has drastically changed.
I’ve said it once, and I'll say it a million more times. Heck, I'll scream it from the rooftop. I AM BEYOND THANKFUL for this quarantine.
Of course, ideally, I don't want to be home. I had a ton of plans for this year (like everyone else). I was supposed to travel a bunch, and check some things off of my bucket list. And while my trips and events got canceled, you know what didn't? My hope. I’ll admit, at the beginning of this all I was extremely nervous and stressed. My anxiety was all over the place as I just didn't know how to handle this newfound free time. I had been going nonstop for the last year - between two jobs and minimal time off. Having a full day to just sit at home and not have anything to do, but for months? It was a lot on my plate. Most would love to get to stay home, and while I do enjoy those kinds of days as well, it was such a foreign thing to me; that at the beginning of this five-month-long adventure I felt like an outcast. There was so much time on my hands and a thousand different options on how to spend it displayed right in front of me. I spent the first few weeks trying to figure out how to go about this new normal. After a lot of self-therapy sessions later, I finally knew what I wanted to do. As much as I did enjoy this newfound relaxation freedom, I wanted to do something more with my time. I wanted to use and share my voice.
I have mentioned this in quite a few posts in the past. But this, this site right here that you are currently on, is something that I am so damn proud of. It had been an idea of mine for multiple years, but I just kept coming up with reasons as to why I couldn't turn this dream of mine into a reality. I was too busy working towards another career dream. I was maintaining two jobs and working overtime just to be able to provide for myself but still have that safety net to be able to have fun. Spending my very minimal free time with friends, family, or running errands. You name it, I most likely used it as a reason as to why I couldn't. Which don't get me wrong, they are all valid reasons to be busy, but what they arent is excuses. Maybe it's just me, but I personally hate the word excuse. It’s used as a way to lessen the blow or sting of something when in reality it tends to do the exact opposite. We shouldn't be sitting here blaming ourselves or others for what happens. Everything happens for a reason. As shitty as that sounds, it's true. Even those hard, dark, and seeming to never end moments occur for a reason. Do we want to go through them and experience the pain and tears that can ensue? No. But the end result can be something truly beautiful if we allow it to be.
Which is just what I did. While a vastly large amount of people are still looking at this quarantine as if it is the worst thing to ever happen to them, I am looking at it as one of my biggest blessings in disguise.
And this is why.
Discovering Passions
I have always been a very artistic individual. You name it, I probably did it. Art. Writing. Photography. Quarantine has allowed me to get back into each and every one of these. It gave me my creative outlet again. Things that I had pushed onto the backburners, things that made me happy, are now back at the forefront of my life. My camera used to just sit in its bag alone and cold, collecting dust, and now it is being used so often that the batteries are constantly in their chargers. While old passion flames have been reignited, new ones have also begun to burn. If you would have asked me a few months ago if I would ever be streaming on twitch, I most likely would have laughed and said no. I won't lie or sugar coat it. Not only did I not really know what twitch was, but I also just barely had the time to play video games. As a kid, I used to be hugely into them. Whether it was PC games, my GameBoy, or Wii. I was constantly playing something. As I grew older my love for them began to be dulled. New responsibilities in life took their place and before I knew it they were gone from my daily life for quite a while. It wasn’t until I was living with my friend Blake, and he had his PS4 that my love for one of my favorite past hobbies began to come back. Now don't get me wrong, video gaming isn't my all-time favorite thing (there are some other ways I would rather spend my time if given the option) but it does bring a smile to my face when I get to play things that I love - which this is still a continuously growing list. Flash forward to now and your girl is a twitch affiliate...hehe yep you read that right. Who would have thought right? Lol. Definitely not me, I'll be the first to admit that. But it's something that I am really enjoying doing. For those that know me, you know that I LOVE talking lol. And ironically growing up I wanted to be a talk show host (still kinda do tbh) and in a way, my twitch channel is kind of like my own personal show. While I don’t think I’ll plan to make twitch streaming a full-time thing (at least right now) it is something that I have grown a passion for, and thoroughly enjoy doing. Who knows what the future holds. That is something that we will deal with when the time comes. Right now I am focusing on the present, and it's a pretty damn great gift.
Friendships
Where do I even begin with this one? You know those people that come into your life, and it feels as if you have known them forever, but it's only been a few months (honestly the best kind of people in my book). Well, I have been blessed with quite a few of them these last few months. Individuals that now I simply couldn't imagine my life without. From our group chats to our staying up till sunrise (at least for some of us lol) video calls, tea spilling sessions, and everything in between. You guys have truly impacted not only my quarantine but my life in such a positive way. Without you, my days would not be filled with as much laughter or memories as they have been. I thank God everyday for placing each of you in my life, both as our groups, as well as individuals. My favorite kind of friendship has always been the ones that just happen naturally. If you had asked me to pinpoint the exact moment we all became so close, I most likely wouldn't be able to tell you because it just happened so quickly. Sometimes people just click, and that's what happened with us. Our pieces all fit together to create one truly unique, and frankly awesome (because let's be real we are all pretttttyyyy cool people haha) puzzle. There was no trying to force any two pieces to work together, it just was all simply meant to be. And to each of you guys reading this (you six know who you are). I love you guys. You know I do not use that word lightly, but I truly mean it when I say it to each of you. You guys are my rocks, my hype women/men, and overall another family to me. Some of us may be located in different parts of the continent or world, but the distance is just simply that...distance. It holds no power over us, nor does it limit us. After all, when did we ever let some measly time zones get in our way lol.
Now, for my twin...I'm sorry my twon ;) While you are included in the six, I have a special message for you. Growing up with two sisters, I was used to having the sisterly bond in my life. To this day, my sisters are still two of my best friends, and always will be. However, it wasn't until I met you that I realized just how close two different souls could be outside of the family/blood spectrum. While some may believe in only encountering one soulmate in their life, I believe that we are meant to find and have many. They aren't always about romance either. Believe it or not, you can find a soulmate in a friendship too. And you girlie, are one of my friendship soulmates. My soul sister. To our facetime girls nights where we spend hours laughing our asses off until our stomachs hurt (often due to our own stupidity or wildness oooop), our secret language (because let's be real, English is hard lol), how we know what the other is thinking or feeling before we even say it, and everything between and beyond. Thank you for being my shining star, lighting the way when it's dark, and keeping me calm even in the roughest of storms. No one is as real as you when I need it most. Life is complicated and crazy, yet together we help each other through. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly I’ll always be here for you no matter what. Our friendship is the gift that keeps on giving, and I look forward to what each day holds. Whether we're side by side or hundreds of miles apart. So here's to you. To all of our future crazy adventures and endeavors, that will provide countless more memories. I love you more than our lactose intolerant selves love dairy, and always will. The Twon Team for life <3
Self Love/Self Care
I won't get too much into this one, as this is something that I really want to write a whole post about, but just know that It's a journey that keeps on giving. There is no final destination because with each passing day we can find a new way to love ourselves better. For me, it wasn’t the easiest of feats. It isn’t for anyone. You know those days where you look in a mirror and think to yourself “damn I look good!”. I didn't have those days for quite a while, and it wasn’t until recently - specifically more so these last few months that I have. With all this time now on my hands, I am able to focus on myself solely for once. I spend so much time looking out for others, that I rarely take the time to look out for me. And that's not ok. It’s just as important to look out for your feelings and your needs. Selfishness and self-care are two very different things. Sometimes you just gotta buy a mini pool and some lush products ya know. And for the first time in a very long time, I can one hundred percent truly say that not only am I really looking out for myself but that I love myself. Every inch, every flaw, I love it. And I have never been happier.
While some may feel as if their mental state has declined while staying at home; mine has, as you have all learned with me, surprisingly done the exact opposite. These last few months, although they have been a major roller coaster at times, has brought an abundance of blessings into my life. And I hope it has for you as well. If it weren’t for this quarantine I wouldn't have received this time to learn, build, and grow; and without it, I honestly don’t know where I would be right now. I definitely wouldn't have met the amazing people that I have, and now that they are in my life I couldn't picture it without them. I don’t know what I did to deserve them, but what I do know is that I will hold them all very close to my heart. After all, they each have touched a part of it. K, B, the troublesome trio, and my five-engers this one's for you all. Who would have thought we would be hereafter just a few short months, and all because of quarantine ;)
What has changed in your life because of Quarantine?
Did you chase a dream?
Pick up an old Hobby?
Do something you never thought you would?
Let me know in the comments :)
It could even be something as simple and fun as learning a new party trick! I can now open beer bottles with my feet hehe.
Till Next time my friends.
Stay Happy, Stay Healthy, Stay Safe
T <3
Comments