Just like the seasons, people have the ability to change.
With the start of a new season, I thought why not begin fresh myself a bit.
It’s a perfect opportunity to do something new. Something bold. Something beautiful. Something exciting.
And what could be more exciting than change?
Now, I know that change can also be scary. It’s something that can lead us into the unknown. And it can feel like we are walking with a blindfold over our eyes, unaware of where we are being led. As nerve-wracking as it can be though, it can also be extremely beautiful.
Change more than often is inevitable. After all, every day, every second our lives are changing. However, there are instances in which you can be the one to take the reigns. To make and enforce the change yourself.
And that is what I have decided to do this week.
First off, I started simple; a haircut.
It had been over a year (bad, bad I know - but we were, and still are, in a pandemic) since I last got it cut; and with the reopening of my hairdresser's salon and the precautionary steps that they were taking to ensure it was a safe zone - I felt comfortable and knew it was time. For those that knew me this time last year, It was then that I decided to do a drastic change with my hair as well. Alright, using the word drastic is a bit of a stretch here lol. I didn’t dye it or anything, just a little cut (my hairdresser actually refuses to dye my hair because he loves my color so much haha ). And this year I decided to do the same. Coco Chanel once said “A woman who cuts her hair is ready to change her life.” and boy was I ready. Goodbye and so long to half a foot of my hair, and hello to the new me. Think Rachel Geller vibes, but in twenty-twenty (although I am more of a Phoebe, but that is beside the point lol). I was ready to take on these newfound and incoming changes. I am a Zalfen girl after all, and we don't back down.
Second, I want to be my own boss.
I mean I kinda already am if you think about it, but I want to be able to take it that extra step further. Throughout this quarantine, as most of you know I have found (or refound/ignited) passions of mine; and I would love it if more than anything I could continue to grow those. Don't get me wrong, I love and miss my job - especially my coworkers. Disney was and is another home to me. It's been six months since I have seen most of my second family. And while it does suck, I am also thankful for where I am now. Yeah, I have had my fair share of downs over these last few months, but I have also had a ton of ups. And if it weren't for the closure and quarantine I wouldn't be at the point I am. Although this isn't necessarily a business yet, maybe one day it could be. Reach for the stars right? That is what Disney teaches <3 which honestly is one of my favorite things about them. Left and right there are life lessons to be learned and quotes that with some, I now live by. Who knows where I will be in a few months down the line with all that I am doing regarding my site, streaming, and some other secret projects. But regardless, this was a change that not only majorly positively affected my life, but one that hopefully will continue to as well. I have always wanted to leave a mark on the world and maybe just maybe this is that mark.
Next on the agenda is something in my life that is a little harder and deeper (that's what she said lol...sorry let's continue), so that change will be a bit more of a challenge.
And that is on life choices lol.
Throughout my life, I have dealt with quite my handful of toxic individuals. While most I have parted ways with, there are still some that I am not entirely away from. It’s a giant web of connections. One that I can't seem to fully untangle myself from, and that I have been trapped in. This is something that I have been battling with back and forth with for quite some time. And when there are those close ties it makes it even harder. People will, and have told me, that If I part ways with the spider then I'm sure to be free right? Because no spider equals no web. But what they don’t understand is it's not that easy, If only it was. And I really really wish it was. Unfortunately, though it’s the exact opposite. They do say though, that nothing worth having in life comes easy, so I have to hope and pray that at the end of all this - it's worth it. Which honestly, I think it is. And maybe that's why I have stuck with it and gone through this for so long. I don't think I would have if it wasn’t. As mentioned earlier, change can be scary and nerve-wracking, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t, even just a tad bit, frightened to make this one. I know that in the end, it will all be ok and that everything will work out the way it's supposed to. But there is always that thought, the one that is fueled by anxiety, is what if it doesn’t work out the way I want it to. However, this life of mine is not in my hands. It’s in God’s and I have to trust Him. I do trust him. What is meant to happen will. It may not necessarily be exactly what I intended or hoped for, but its what is best for me. And at the end of the day, that's really what change is. Whether we notice it at first or not, change betters us in the long run. We become stronger individuals. Now I don't know about you, but I am ready to become an even stronger bomb boss ass bitch than I am now lol.
So here is to a new season. One where not only the weather, the light patterns, and nature around us will change; but so will we.
If there has been something that you have been wanting to do, go for it. Take the leap of faith and make the change. Whether it is something you have been thinking about for years, or even for a day.
Want to switch up your hair. Do it.
Want to try out a new style, and explore some different kinds of fashion. Do it.
Want to cut out toxic-ness and negativity in your life. Do it.
Want to take up a new hobby. Do it.
Want to ask out the guy/girl you’ve been crushing on for weeks. Do it.
Want to find yourself. Do it.
I know its scary. I know it’s all brand new. But if I can promise you anything, It’s worth it.
It may take a bit of time to come to terms with that, but in the future you will look back and be thankful that you took that step.
Do something for yourself. Take it from me, someone who constantly puts others ahead of herself. Part of the reason I have stayed in this toxic relationship is because of others. But it’s time to put me first, and that is on self-care, not selfishness.
And I really hope you do it to <3
Till next week friends.
Stay Happy. Stay Healthy. Stay Safe.
T
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