If you would have asked me what my plans were for the year at the beginning, chances are I would have given you a long-ass list. One where I would get to see some of my favorite bands take the big stage, board planes to different countries, and create exciting new memories.
While a handful of things that I’ve wanted to happen didn’t do to the unforeseen circumstances of this pandemic, this year still brought me an abundance of amazing memories and opportunities. Some of which have even been years In the making and I finally bit the bullet and just said “fuck it, let's do it.”
First this site, second a puppy, and now this lol :P
For those who are closer to me, they know that for a long time I have wanted to get a tattoo. While I was in college I had thought of the design, but from there I kept it tucked away in the back of my mind for years to come. I knew what I wanted, but I was scared to step up and get it. That was, until this year when everything changed (literally and figuratively lol). Going into 2020, I had the mindset of making this year all about me. For once in my life, I was going to focus on doing what I wanted and what made me happy - rather than others. For years I was so used to doing the opposite, that it was about time for me to do so for myself for a change. And again, while I couldn’t do a lot of the things (like countless others) I originally had planned, there still were a few - one of them being getting a tattoo.
Around late February I was in talks with an artist who I had found a few years prior, Vince Espinoza, to get one within the coming months as it was something that I wanted to do for my 24th. Unfortunately, right around this time is when the pandemic really hit and everything was forced to close down. Over the coming months, he had moved back to the southeastern region of the US and everything was on pause. It wasn’t until about a month or so back that I had seen he would be coming back to LA. I reached out to his office once again and the rest is history. What I had thought would be a few more months in the making - due to his popularity and bookings turned into an “its happening right now scenario”. I was asked if I was available within the next two weeks and before I knew it, there I was laying down on the chair, ink, and needle to skin.
Now I know that butterflies are a fairly normal tattoo to get. However, I wanted and chose this design for a few specific reasons. Growing up my grandma lived with my family and I. One of her favorite things was always butterflies; and when she passed away when I was in the sixth grade I bought a butterfly necklace and wore it every single day for years. I still do sometimes. Seeing butterflies flutter past feel like a sign. A handful of the times when I do see one it tends to be when I need her most, almost as if she is right there telling me that everything is going to be perfectly ok. It hurts to know that she has already missed so many milestones in my life/will continue too. However, it is comforting to know that her spirit will always be there; and now I have a permanent reminder of that. I chose to go with a cross as the body, to not only represent my faith but hers as well. She was the one who gave me my first actual bible growing up and I cherished that thing until it was so run down that the binding was falling apart. Faith and family have always been two of the most important things to me, and I couldn’t think of a better first tattoo to get to represent that. The original plan was to only just get the one larger butterfly, but while I was in talks with Vince’s assistant she brought up the idea of adding a smaller one and I fell in love with it. With the combination of my original idea, and Tori’s - Vince created the piece that I now wear with pure love, joy, and pride. So here’s to you grandma, even though you flew away, in my heart, you will forever stay. Thank you for being the amazing person that you were and for helping mold me into who I am today. I miss you and love you endlessly. I know you’d probably be shaking your head right now at the thought of me having a tattoo, you were always so stubborn and old fashioned, but I know that you would love and appreciate the design and the reason behind it. You always taught me to never stop hoping and to accept change, and that is exactly what a butterfly stands for. We are constantly growing and transforming in life, and I am excited to see where God will take me with mine.
Who knows what I’ll do next, but stay tuned to find out ;) lol
Till next time my friends.
Stay happy, stay healthy, and stay safe.
-T <3
If you would like to check out Vince’s Instagram and his designs: @thatboyvince :)
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