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The QuaranT Diaries #25: Coffee & Contemplation

Updated: Feb 4, 2021

You know those interactive little search puzzles that pop up on Twitter and say that the first few words you find will determine how your upcoming year will go? Normally when I see them I just do it for fun and laugh it off afterward as they tend to involve something hilarious such as pizza or wine (although let’s be real, a year full of either of those doesn’t sound too bad). However, the last one I did hit differently. And it’s one that I actually hope will ring true, and that I am carrying with me throughout this new year. They are more than just words, they are now goals - and I look forward to aspiring to include and accomplish each and every one.


A year full of creation, love, strength, and power seems pretty good to me.


Creation

I have always been more of a right side of the brain type of person. While I do believe in logistics, my mind typically tends to focus more on art, imagination, and feeling rather than facts and analysis. I am constantly wanting to create something - whether it be through my love of writing or photography. Right now, for instance, I have a thousand different ideas and visions flowing through my head on things that I want to talk about and share - and shoots that I want to turn into realities. It is a never ending dream board, like a racquet ball ricocheying back and forth with a new idea sparking each time it hits the wall. Afterall, Elder Uchtdorf does say that “the desire to create is one of the deepest yearning of the human soul.” They also say that life imitates art - and while yes I do want to create and share amazing posts and photos with you all, I also want to focus on personal growth and creating a life that feels good on the inside, not just one that looks good on the out. After all, Our life is our own creation.


Love

A simple word, but yet one that holds so much. For this year, as shown and talked about in my last two posts, I want to majorly focus on love for myself. I am always so focused on others - that I forget that I need to look after myself and my own well being and happiness as well. On top of that, I also want to learn how to love life again. Now don’t get me wrong I do appreciate life - but I feel as with this pandemic I have lost my spark a little. And I don’t think I’m the only one either. These last almost 365 days have been a lot for everyone and taking a major toll on our well being and throughout that, somewhere along the way a bit of my sparkle dimmed. I have always been a fan of enjoying the little things in life (and still do - if anything this pandemic has made me even more appreciative of them) but it has also jumbled everything as well. A lot of reevaluation has taken place within these last few months and I honestly think I am on the road to finding that spark again - maybe it will be found within my self-growth process - I guess we will have to wait and see :) My worth doesnt come from a bank account or numbers, it comes from being proud of who I am and being someone that I can count on and love.


Strength

This is something that over the course of the last year I have definitely learned and found. It is something that grows in the moments when we think that we cant go on - but we keep going anyway. It is the courage that we find during life’s most difficult times. I have been broken, I have seen, experienced, and know the hardships of what it is like to lose oneself. To lose all sense of hope, trust, and safety. And while I will never forget those harsh moments that led me there - the mornings where I couldn’t get out of bed, the nights I cried myself to sleep, and the times that I wanted to give up - they made me stronger and for that fact I am forever grateful. I know that trusting the journey can be hard, believe me - life is tough, but I really hope you know that so are you.

It is also important to do what is best for oneself. That can mean walking away from toxic situations or taking some time away to focus on yourself - there is an endless amount of possibilities on what could cater to you. People may approve of it or not. They will always have something to say - but you are the one person who knows yourself the best. You know what is good for you. Self love takes strength.


Power

Now I’m not talking about possession of control or authority but rather the ability to influence. I know we live in a world and time where being an “influencer” is a coveted title by many - but it is rare to actually see people use that status that the Hollywood culture stigma has adorned them, for good. I know that I am by no means “famous” but what I do hope to be able to do is hold the power to positively affect the lives of others and to raise awareness on topics that often get pushed under the rug. I want to break down the stigmas that society has placed within our lives and our minds and to instead build the acceptance to openly talk about the topics and to support those who are going through these experiences or have. If I want to leave any mark on this world - I want it to be that I made a positive difference - and I am truly hoping that this is the year that I can take that goal an extra step further and gain access to that power.


In retrospect these four words go hand in hand together, tied together by an invisible string. They form a puzzle and I look forward to being able to complete it piece by piece. Never have I ever been more ready for a year than I am for this one.


What are your guys’ words or goals for 2021? Let me know in the comments - I would love to hear them :D


Till next week my friends

Stay happy. Stay healthy. Stay safe.


  • <3 T

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