You can’t calm the storm - but what you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.
One thing that never fails to bring me peace is being home with my family. As mentioned before, this last year has been rough. No one foresaw a pandemic coming, and just how drastically it would change everyone's lives. From going to having plans to work, travel, and make memories with friends to livin it up to the best of our abilities in our homes. Left and right curveballs were thrown. When things seemed to be looking better (or at least we were told they were) they skyrocketed right back down. A big dark abyss, trying to diminish a bright light of hope. These past 365 days have been unlike any other in more ways than one. And it's times like this past weekend where I am extremely thankful to go back to my roots. One of my places of happiness. Home.
Now don't get me wrong, I love our little home that my friends Ashlee, Manny, and I have built up here. It’s always something amazing when you find people that you just click with. And with our recent move, and finally getting our furniture (yes, after months we got our couch!) this new place has really come together. But there is just something about the house you grew up in. It is its own feeling of warmth, happiness, and love. The two just can't be compared. While they can go together like peanut butter and jelly - they are their own flavors (if that makes sense lol).
These last twelve months haven't been easy on anyone. And while the year has had its major pluses, there have also been times where things weren't so great either. I am a very open person when it comes to talking about my experience with anxiety. And while my mental health is nowhere near as bad as it was a few years ago, I still have my moments. I try to always be the bubbly, happy-go-lucky girl that everyone thinks I am but sometimes that just isn't in the cards. Over the course of the last few months, my anxiety has definitely had its fair share of days where it has gotten to me and taken over. It has made me shut down, overthink, and be an emotional wreck. It’s times like these where I wish that I could just get away, hop on a plane, and jet off to Greece (mama mia is calling, and this is one call I wish didn't have to go to voicemail). But with everything going on in our world with covid, that, unfortunately, isn't in the cards (praying it will be within the next few years, please lol). However, something that is, is getting to go back to my hometown and seeing my family. They may not be crystal clear waters, gyros, and frolicking through the streets in song - in fact as great as those things are, family is one thousand times better. They are my rocks, and some of my favorite people in this crazy journey we call life. We fight and bicker just like every family, but I mean come on who wouldn't with someone they've known for all 24 years of existence lol. This last weekend I was incredibly blessed and thankful to be able to spend time with them and just check out mentally.
While I couldn't calm everything else that was going on around me, I could calm myself. So that's just what I did. I made sure I was safe, packed my weekend bag, and Phoebe and I took the drive down to San Diego. In years past I would see my family at least once a month, squeezing trips in between my work schedules. But like most others who don't live with, or even by their family anymore, we are incredibly lucky if and when we have gotten to see them this past year. I luckily have gotten to a few times (of course not as much as I would like) and I cherish every second that I get to spend with them. It was nice to be able to take some time and step away from everything for a few days and to focus on them and myself. From lounging (or running around with the dogs) in the backyard to margarita-filled movie marathon nights (high key recommend knives out if ya haven't seen, great film). It was a nice breath of fresh air (literally and figuratively - as we did hit the beach for a few hours one day). Three days back up in Anaheim and I already miss them (although let's be real, I miss them the second I drive away). I look forward to every time I have the chance to take a trip to see them, and if these last few years have reiterated anything for me it's to not take anything for granted. Life can change quickly, so make sure to appreciate what you have when you do.
I hope that for those who are like me and deal with anxiety that you are able to take the mental health little getaway that you need. It could honestly be anything. It could be as simple as checking out of social media for some time and focusing on what is in front of you (no I don't mean your cellphone) and on yourself rather than those apps that seem to take up our daily lives. While social media is great in many ways, it can also be extremely toxic and it's important to know when to step away if need be.
Take it from someone who is guilty of constantly scrolling through her Twitter and Instagram feeds. It's so refreshing to simply just take a step back from time to time, believe me.
Those apps will still be there when you get back, they aren't going anywhere :)
Your mental health is a priority. Your happiness is essential. Your self-care is a necessity.
Just because you can't see it like you can see a broken bone doesn't mean that it doesn't need to be tended to and healed.
And remember - You're human. It's ok to struggle. It's ok to look after yourself and your mind. It's important. You are important.
Don't let anyone tell you differently + Don't ya forget it <3
Till next week my friends.
Stay happy. Stay healthy. Stay safe.
-T
"Cherish every moment even if you're stressed or hurt. There's tomorrow and it always gets better" - Ariana Grande
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