To My Heroes

This last week I was blessed to be able to go home to San Diego and see/spend time with my family for the first time in a few months. For those who know me, Family is a hugeeeee thing to me. My sisters are two of my best friends, and my parents are my role models, rocks, and heroes. I’m the type of person who talks to my family at least once a day, even if it’s only for a few minutes.

Thankfully I’m not too far from mine, as I know a lot of others aren’t as lucky.

With this pandemic though, that short 90 miles felt like 9,000. To be close, but not able to see them was heart-wrenching. There were many days where I just wanted to get in my car and drive down there but I didn’t because that would have been very selfish of me. I was scared that I could be the one person that potentially gets them sick...and if that were to happen I don’t know how I would be able to live with myself in all honesty. Hour-long facetime calls became our new normal for a bit. Every few months throughout the last couple I would space out time to see them. Most just being for a weekend. I would make sure that I was healthy before doing so so that it was safe for them all. I normally spend my birthdays home, surrounded by them all..this year - as it was for millions - was drastically different. My dad was going into surgery the day before, and we decided together to push back my visit as it was the smartest choice. Honestly, the hours that he was in surgery for I was a walking zombie - just hoping and praying with all my might that everything would go smoothingly. Thankfully it did, and he has been in recovery since. A total knee replacement isn’t something that you quickly bounce back from, after all, its a long process. One that, knowing my dad, he hates because he is such a go go go person (I wonder where I get it from lol), but is handling like the true champ he is. So here is to you dad. You always tell me how strong I am, and now it’s my turn. And same to you mom. I know this last year hasn’t been the easiest for you either. I’ve seen it, in the quick few seconds that you show the wear and weight it has on you. I know moms are always told how awesome and powerful they are, but you exceed it all. You both do. And without you, I would not be where I am today. And I know I tell you time and time again how thankful I am for you guys, and I know words can sometimes be just words; after all, they do say that actions speak louder. But you guys know me, words are my forte. You know the love I have for writing, and you know the love I have for you - so I decided to combine the two (oh look that rhymed lol)... This is my letter for you guys <3

Dear Dad,

Well….I know you were hoping I would be a boy so that you could finally have a son...lol sorry not sorry. But hey, in my opinion, I think you lucked out because I am pretty awesome. Being the only man in the house probably wasn’t the easiest-but you didn’t let it phase you. Instead, you embraced it. You raised three amazing young women, and that is not an easy thing to do. While you didn't have a son to talk sports with, you did have us. I wasn’t (and frankly still aren’t) as into them as Tarissa, but the one sport I did love holds some of my favorite memories with you. Growing up watching baseball, and going to games with you were (and still are) the best seats in the house. From peanuts and cracker jacks to beer and sunflower seeds. Each game, even the ones we watched from home, over the past two decades holds a special place in my heart. Honestly, every moment with you does. And while you may have only held my hand for a short while, just like the memories - you will hold my heart forever. You gave me one of the greatest gifts that anyone could ever give another person (other than life lol), you believed in me. No matter what I wanted to do in life, whether it was my dream of being a pop star when I was six or to my dream for working for Disney - you always told me to go for it. You knew that whatever I put my mind to I would accomplish it (although the whole pop star thing didn't work out...shame lol). You never once told me that I couldn't do something and look at me now; embracing all my passions and making the best of each. While I would like to take the credit lol, it was really all you. Because of your belief in me, I knew I could do it. You had told me one day that that was one of your favorite things about me, that I wasn’t afraid to do what I wanted and that whatever I put my heart, soul, and mind too - I would always complete and accomplish it. I know it was just an observation that you had, using your father instincts lol; but to me that one sentence positively changed my life...majorly. You were the first man who ever loved me, and the first man I ever loved. I know that with each day we are both growing older, but please know that no matter what I will always be your little girl. Even though I no longer live with you and am off in a different city chasing more dreams, there is never a day I don't think about you. I could never tell you just how much you mean to me. I wish I could give you the world as you gave it to me. For all the things you’ve done for me, and all the times you cared. There's no other man that I respect more than you; and you also taught me what I should look for in a man of my own. Thank you for always being someone that I can look up to. Thank you for being my mentor, my biggest fan, and most of all .. one of my best friends. The love that a father holds for his daughter can never be described. You have tried to tell me before in the best way you can, but regardless I see it in your eyes. In the proud moments, and in the moments (although rare) where you show sadness. I saw it when we said see you later this last weekend. And believe me, it hurt you just as much as it did me. I know right now is tough on you, but you are even tougher. You were in the navy for years and saw your fair share of anchors, but what you may not know is that you are mine. <3

Dear Mom,

There has never been a truer statement than ‘moms are superhero’s’. I swear ya’ll have some magic powers or something because you can always tell when something is up..or you find the item that I have been searching for for the last thirty minutes in three seconds lol. Being a mother isn’t an easy task-it’s one of the hardest actually - yet you always tell me that it’s the most rewarding. And in all honesty, you make it look like a piece of cake, when in fact I know that its the exact opposite. You gave birth to and raised three beautiful and amazing women and while we may not have made it simple for ya (let’s be real, I was a huge pain in the ass lol) you were always our world. The mother-daughter bond is like no other and look at you getting to experience it more than once (both a blessing and a curse lol). We fight, we make-up, we laugh, and we cry. Sometimes all at the same time. I know that you and I especially have had our fair share of darker moments (stupid angsty teen phase) but I hope you know that regardless of how often we fought - I never stopped loving you; and I know you never stopped loving me. To our endless amount of mother-daughter dates, from shopping to now brunch and mimosas. Every second I get to share with you I cherish. Even the ones where we are just sitting in the car and jamming out to country music. Thank you for being my laugh until it hurts, and always there no matter what person. I fail to talk to you about some things, and I’m working on that - but even when I don't tell you I still know you are there for me if needed and I appreciate that so damn much. I hope you know that the same goes for you too. Being a mom, and also just you being you - I know that you often try to keep it together when inside you are falling apart (like mother like daughter haha). You are the rock, yet feel like you could break. Tired, but you keep going. Worried, but full of hope. Overwhelmed, but you never quit. Wonderful, even in the chaos. You are a life changer, every single day whether you know it or not. You may not hear it enough, but you are doing an amazing job. Thirty-plus years later and we are all so beyond thankful for you. It takes someone really brave to be a mother. Someone strong to raise a child. And someone special to love someone more than herself. You did that, and still continue to do so, times three. Every time I look in your eyes I see the purest love that I could ever find on this earth looking back at me. You hold the place that can take all the others, but that no one else could ever take. People always joke about turning into their mom; but If I turn into you, or even half the woman that you are, I will consider my life a successful one. I look up to you more than you know. Mothers and daughters hold a special bond, one that can’t ever be perfectly described in words. It’s eternal and unshakeable. There aren’t many things that can last forever, but this love and bond are one of them. Thank you for always loving me, even when I made it hard on you. For always being my cheerleader. Things always seem better when we are together. <3

To you Together,

I know you both always tell me how much I brighten your lives, and how proud you are of me - but now it was my chance. Because of you both my life has been one of pure magic. Without you, I don't know where I would be or who I would be. Thank you for always being with me, even when we aren't physically together. You are the whisper of the leaves as I walk down the street. The sound of rain that lulls me to sleep. The colors of the rainbow. The feeling of Christmas morning. You are the place I came from, my first home. One that I always love visiting. You are the map I follow with every step I take. My first friends...and my first enemies lol. But nothing could ever separate us. We may not always be together, and we may not have it all together but together we have it all. We each have our own bonds. Both vastly different, but also vastly similar. And when those bonds are placed together, they are a perfect fit and an unstoppable force. With, and because of, you guys I am a stronger individual. You make me a better person each and every day and there is no amount of times that I could say how much I love you and how thankful I am for you both that would ever be enough. You guys are the greatest gifts that I could have ever been blessed with. God truly did some amazing work in matching our family <3

What started as trips to the park and pushes on swings has now turned into wine tastings and the little extra push I need from time to time. There is no such thing as perfect parents, but if there was you would be them. You set the foundation for the rest of my life and while I may wobble and shake from time to time, that is just a part of life. When it comes down to it my core is and always will be the strongest part of me - and it is you two that formed it. I could honestly keep going on, but knowing you two you are probably both in tears right now after reading this. Yes, even you dad, who normally only cries in hallmark movies (ooops did I let that cat out of the bag lol).

I love you both, always <3

• Forever, your little Twister

Till Next Week my friends. Stay happy. Stay Healthy. Stay Safe.

• T